|
Getting your Trinity Audio player ready...
|
An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels (Proverbs 31:10, ESV).
I became a Christian at age 18 and didn’t date anyone for the next four years.
Instead, I led a ministry in Springfield, Ohio, and was going to Bible college. As I was graduating from college (49 years ago), I had a conversation about marriage with my mentor, Pastor John Wilson.
Below is a journalized transcript of that conversation. . .
“You’re about to graduate from Bible college,” John Wilson said. “You won’t be as successful in the ministry without the right wife. I think it’s time that you found one.”
John was still munching his sandwich thoughtfully as I digested what he’d told me. Clearly, I needed a bit of clarification.
I said, “Okay, it’s time for me to find a wife. What should I look for in a Christian wife?”
I’m not exactly sure what I was expecting this gray-haired pastor to say. Maybe describe the perfect woman — someone holy, dressed so modestly she was hardly visible, and who wouldn’t consider sex outside (or perhaps even inside) the vows of marriage.
My problem was that I only dated non-Christian women before accepting Jesus as my Savior and hadn’t dated anyone since that time. So, I had no idea what a Christian wife would look like. Probably a cross between Mother Teresa and Billy Graham. . . which might explain why I hadn’t dated any Christians yet.
John thought for a moment.
“Okay, let me give you five things to look for in a Christian wife.”
Then he said, “First, she should be sexually attractive to you.”
That’s when I choked on my Diet Coke™. Sexual attraction wasn’t the first thing I expected Pastor John would list when describing the perfect Christian wife. John was a pastor. Was he even allowed to give advice like that?
“Why?” I asked.
John raised an eyebrow, considering perhaps just how hopeless his disciple (me) really was.
“Because you have to sleep with her,” he said.
I pushed the Diet Coke aside. “Okay, so that’s the first thing to look for in a Christian wife. What next?”
“Look at her mother,” John said. “When you look at a girl’s mother, realize that is what you will be married to in 30 years.”
So far John hadn’t said one thing I expected him to say. He was sort of like Jesus in that way, though I don’t recall Jesus ever giving advice to James and John about checking out their dates’ mothers.
“Third,” John said, “She should be a Christian.”
Finally, something that sounded like it should be on the list.
“Give me the other two,” I said, taking notes.
“She should get along well with other women.”
Again, I was confused. “Why?”
“Because a woman who doesn’t get along with other women, who just has guy friends, will be jealous when you talk to other women. And in the ministry, you will have to talk to lots of women.”
That made sense. John was giving me a list of the physical, spiritual, and emotional attributes of a perfect Christian wife. An unorthodox set of attributes, to be sure, but ones based on his many years in the ministry.
“The final one?” I asked.
“She should be smarter than you.”
That one struck me as the easiest of the bunch to find. But still. . . I asked him to elaborate.
“If two people who get married don’t have similar educational backgrounds and intelligence, there’s a continued disparity that will cause tension the entire marriage.” Then looking at me with a slight smile, he added, “And in your case, you need someone smarter than you, or you’ll bully her your entire marriage.”
John wasn’t being unkind; he knew how strong-willed I was.
I finished writing the list on a napkin, folded it, and tucked it in my pocket.
Time to find a wife! And I did, the perfect wife for me!
(Note: This excerpt is from my book Swimming Lessons!)