A Large Heart

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Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you (1 Peter 5:6, ESV).

Fifty years ago, I had been in the ministry for two years and attended a large church in our community. And I was becoming frustrated with how the pastor led the church that I attended.

This pastor had been serving this church for over 50 years.

That’s the setting:  I was a pastor for two years, and I was upset with the ministry of someone who had been serving for 50 years.

I think the word “hubris” is an apt description!

I decided to ask this pastor to have lunch with me, and while eating, I pulled out a list I’d written about his attitude, his ability to lead a church with younger members, and the mistakes he was making in his preaching.

Again, I was two years into my ministry and confronting a saint and a pastor of 50 years. I didn’t lack boldness back then, even if misguided.

About halfway through my list, the pastor stopped me. He said. . . 

You are right, Grant. I make many mistakes. Would you forgive me and be patient with me?

Suddenly, my list seemed irrelevant. I’d created the list — as bitter people often do — to bolster my case and justify my bad attitude. This pastor’s seeming offenses simmered in my spirit to the point that everything he said and did irritated me. 

Fortunately, instead of stewing internally, I asked him to lunch. But his humility in confession disarmed my anger and quenched my spirit of accusation.

The pastor then asked if he could say something. He wasn’t defensive; he just asked if he could speak. I said yes, and I still remember what he said. . . 

Grant, if your heart isn’t large enough to forgive and overlook the offenses and inadequacies of others, you will never succeed as a pastor. Forgiving was the primary ministry of Jesus and is the most important thing you will ever do as a pastor.

I was humbled!

I emulated the pastor of my youth in the length of ministry as I became a pastor of one church for almost 50 years. And I’ve never forgotten his advice, probably the most important words of wisdom I’ve received.

I sum it up below. . .  

• Forgive 
• Don’t keep lists
• Move on
• Ask God for the grace to forget

In my decades of ministry, several times, people have read me a long list of my offenses. From time to time, young staff members of the church that I pastored accused me of having a wrong attitude. Church members (too many times to count) pointed out mistakes.

But beginning with the conversation that I had with my former pastor, God gave me the grace to forgive myself and others and then forget. God helped me to overcome making grudge decisions that destroy relationships and ministries.

My encouragement to all of us — let’s have a large heart!